“Have you ever seen a clown clown? As opposed to a human clown.”

“Why is Blue Man Group so famous? They don’t even do anything—are they just independently wealthy?”

“If, on this stretch of road by the sea in Maine, you crane your neck back until you hear your vertebrae uncomfortably protest and then look up at the night sky, this is what you see: a Jackson Pollock splattering of brilliant whites and yellows and reds and blues against the blackness.”

—Ethan Taswell, “Starless Nights,” 4.12.19

“The alligator in the video is in the yard, a guest at the party just like the humans (though it is quite rude to play with the mouth of a party guest). There’s no denying that the alligator performs an intentional role here—the watermelon could have just as easily been smashed on the driveway, or the ‘gender’ could have been revealed’ through a short SMS.” 

—Tal Frieden, “Gender Revalligator,” 4.13.18

1. Me 4x-speeding lectures in my pajamas
2. Sex with the blinds up in the window across mine, every Friday night. Like clockwork. 
3. Mask-under-nose syndrome
4. Men doing sports shirtless (and maskless)
5. Frat boys tearing down ESV posters
6. “Follow the arrow” signs in every building. 
7. Socially distant breakups :(
8. People dressing great. It’s too much for my tiny heart.  You will live in my dreams forever <3
9. Heterosexual buffoonery
10.  My Popeyes order missing a chicken sandwich :’(