Imagine trying to describe the White House without mentioning the president. Or giving a tour of the Sistine Chapel without talking about Michelangelo. Not only would you miss the big picture, but the underlying details also wouldn’t make sense. Without a president, the Oval Office would just be a small room in a big house….
My family is Jewish, but I’ve never really understood what that means. Before Brown, I could count the number of times I had been to a synagogue on one hand. I wasn’t bat mitzvahed; I knew only a handful of Hebrew and Yiddish words. At home, we insist Christmas is just like any other day….
When I was 12, I loved conspiracy theories. Often, I would scour YouTube for mysterious videos that claimed to uncover a spectacular truth hidden from the public. Whether it was the banks, the Illuminati, or even corrupt lizard humanoids that ran the world, I would become a staunch believer. One theory that I was particularly…
I am walking through a fluorescent hallway. It smells like new air conditioning and pharmacy and bleach. The floor is tiled beige and the sounds of people mumbling behind closed doors drift into the hallway, which looms narrow and empty except for a coffee machine. It is very cold. It is corporate. It is boring….
- Seek out caretakers for contraband pets
- End your non-relationship with that Tinder person you matched with earlier this semester
- Fill out the winter break checkout slip and tape it to your door
- Savor your last free beverage of the year from Shiru
- Make a last ditch effort to save that GPA
- Wish Blueno a happy new year
- Finally take out the overflowing trash that you and your roommate have been passive aggressively ignoring in hopes that the other will take initiative
- Find out how to hide all the body modifications you got this semester from your conservative family members
- Trash your least favorite class on the Critical Review forms
- Pat yourself on the back for surviving yet another semester