9:00 p.m.- Roll call. All present.
9:03 - Findings of the Exploratory Committee on RISD girls: RISD girls are an untapped resource. Further research deemed necessary.
9:05 – A.J. Warren motions that all future mentions of him in the minutes refer to “Teen Wolf Warren.” Motion passes by acclaim.
9:06 – Smelly Sam motions that all future mentions of him in the minutes omit the epithet “smelly.” Motion shouted down.
9:07 – Special elections: Nominations needed next week to fill vacancies in the positions of Treasurer and Commodore of Karkov (left by tragic “Night of a Thousand Kegstands”).
9:07 – Moment of silence for “Night of a Thousand Kegstands.”
9:08 – Amendments to the coat of arms: Smitty submits for the replacement of the Mace of Wisdom with the Spatula of Burgers. Brody submits for the replacement of the house motto “per aspera ad astra” with “Bro hard or Bro home”
9:09 – Teen Wolf Warren suggests heeding the lessons of history, changing motto to “Bro softly and carry a big stick.” All marvel at his wisdom.
9:09 – Smelly Sam motions that all mottos be translated to Latin.
9:10 - “Nerd Alert” formally declared. Noogies threatened, but not executed.
9:12- The next Class F: Suggestions solicited.
9:13- Smelly Sam suggests exclusively serving Busch heavies at next class F. Brody motions for the censure of Smelly Sam.
9:14- Censure passes by acclaim.
9:16 Teen Wolf Warren suggests a “Sex, Drugs and P. Swayze” party.
9:17- Too soon.
9:18- Smitty suggests “Baroque Bros and Renaissance Hos.” Suggestion taken under consideration.
9:19- Brody raises question of “that girl.” The one with the nose ring, who is always on Wriston.
9:19- General consensus that “that girl” is definitely hot. Who is that girl? Discussion ensues.
9:23- Concluded that the name of “that girl” is not remembered at this time, but is definitely something hot, most likely starting with a “J.” Further research deemed necessary.
9:24- Charitable works: What cause will ßRW support this year?
9:24- Brody suggests tutoring at-risk children from Providence’s poorest neighborhoods. Billy McFlow adds that perhaps something should be done about world hunger.
9:25- A good laugh is had by all.
9:28- Teen Wolf Warren motions to continue decades-long practice of mentoring Wheeler students. Motion passes by acclaim.
9:29- Brody shotguns a beer.
9:30- Meeting adjourned.
