“‘Where I come from,’ said Archie, ‘a bloke likes to get to know a girl before he marries her.’”
“‘Where you come from it is customary to boil vegetables until they fall apart. This does not mean,’ said Samad tersely, ‘that it is a good idea.’” – White Teeth
Wriston Quad Farmers’ Market: Affected? Yes. Overpriced? Maybe. Out of place? Definitely. But this is the place to see and be seen for off-campus upperclassmen with a penchant for flaunting their green living, cosmopolitanism and new sunglasses. A great place to frolic, speak obnoxiously loud French and laud your locavorism over meek sophomores shuttling Ratty takeout containers (“Um, do you even know what a mushroom galette is?”). All bullshit aside, there is something truly wholesome and refreshing about buying your food from the person who actually grew it. If you want convenient, fresh, local produce and first-hand advice on what to do with it, this is the place to go.
Throwing Balls with Dogs: Can anything make you happier, quicker?
Fresh Vegetables: Some of their finest moments come in the most minimal preparations. Recent adventures include: a nice salad of flash-steamed haricots verts with chickpeas and dried cranberries, minimally dressed with lemon juice and olive oil; beets gently sautéed and then braised in grapefruit juice; asparagus blanched and sautéed in a Thai peanut sauce; an impromptu pesto with fresh basil, lemon juice, and toasted hazelnuts (!) in place of pine, tossed into penne with an heirloom tomato. When it comes to letting fresh ingredients shine, less is more and citrus is your friend. The possibilities, however, are pretty much endless. As we transition to chillier fall weather, break out that roasting pan, throw in some rooty stuff with rosemary and just see what happens.
Miller High Life: Obligatory and repetitive to be sure, but this time of year you can get seasonal fall camo-cans at a very reasonable price.
Levi’s 514: The best jean on the planet, and appropriate in just about every context imaginable. Screams, “I’m neither from Los Angeles nor interested enough in losing 15 pounds to wear 511s, but I still appreciate a slim fit.”
Dry Skin: God in Heaven, is there anything worse than rushing out the door for a 9 am class having cleansed and yet forgetting to apply your oil-free moisturizer of choice? A day of parched skin and unfortunate pallor is the bane of those unfortunate enough to suffer this fate. As the weather chills and the wind picks up, chapped knuckles become a clear and present danger; we suggest stocking up on Neutrogena Hand Cream. For the visage, we recommend Oil of Olay Complete All-Day Moisturizing Lotion with SPF 15.
Lunch Sandwiches from Bagel Gourmet Olé: When craving a nostalgic lunch of tuna salad on a bagel with a big glass of chocolate milk (a permanent Nice Thing), you’re better off spending the 85 cents on an everything bagel and making the tuna yourself than being lured by the siren call of BGO’s promising sandwich menu. Their frothy-styrofoam impersonations of tuna and chicken salads are travesties.
The American Healthcare System: Expensive, unfair, underproductive, inefficient, illogical, and the instigation for many an argument between good friends. Like lunch at Amy’s Kitchen on Wickenden.
The New Blue Room: We are seniors, and a central piece of what we love about Brown has gotten the Pinochet and been replaced with an ugly, cavelike, bastardized, pre-packaged, obnoxiously Brown-themed sandwich-naming impostor. Not only will we miss out on our nice-weather iced coffees and hipster-watching on the Faunce steps, but we will never order a sandwich named the Sarah Doyle, even if it’s made of Moët and kisses. Time to transfer to Arizona State.