Katerina Dalavurak

Once you go black, you never go back. Steaming hot, strong, intense, comfortable and familiar or else delightfully exotic, black tea has fueled civilizations through the ages and will continue to build empires long after the fall of mediocre Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. A highly placed source (the back of a Celestial Seasonings box) tells me that the Chinese emperor Shen Nung brewed the first cup of tea quite by accident when dried leaves from a nearby plant fell into a boiling pot of water. The emperor, in the name of science, tried the brew and pronounced it delicious.

We’ve come a long way from gravity-assisted, haphazardly-stewed leaves. In many cultures, tea is an art form, and nearly everyone can take comfort in a well-brewed mug of strong black tea. Now I drink upwards of five cups a day, so you’ll never hear me say there’s a bad time for tea. Certain situations, however, call for certain teas. And since black tea comes in so many flavors and levels of potency, well, there’s pretty much a variety for any occasion.

Irish Breakfast: Ah, Irish Breakfast. The perfect substitute for a good night’s sleep. The Guinness of teas, Irish Breakfast is dark and bitter but gets the job done nicely. James Joyce’s Ulysses begins with the main character eating eggs and sausage and drinking this stuff . While it may not spur you to heights of creative genius, this tea definitely comes in handy for frigid Monday mornings.

When: Irish Breakfast should be downed with near-clinical efficiency while running out the door to your 9AM class. This brew sets the drinker’s blood and mind in motion, and imparts to you the stoic spirit of the Emerald Isles as you trudge across campus.

How: Steep the leaves for two to five minutes, careful of their tendency to over-brew. The process is simple, perfectly suited to rising from a comatose state.

With: Irish Breakfast is a strong brew, and adding milk or sugar tempers the bitterness quite nicely. A little bit of lemon never hurt, either.

Earl Grey: A more genteel drink than its brash Irish counterpart, Earl Grey enlivens your typical black tea with the fragrant addition of bergamot. According to legend, the Second Earl Grey, prime minister of Britain, saved a young Chinese boy from drowning and received the blend from the boy’s grateful father. Wikipedia, however, assures me that this story is but a myth.

When: Earl Grey can be enjoyed at any time of day, as a moderately caffeinated morning brew, with sandwiches at teatime, or as a comforting blend as the sun sets on a cold Providence evening.

How: Again, Earl Grey should be steeped in boiling water for two to five minutes. If you find that the result is too weak for your liking, feel free to steep it again.

With: Milk and sugar. It’s British, what did you expect?

Masala Chai: We’ve all had chai from Starbucks or Tealuxe (or, for the truly desperate, the Ratty). But there’s a difference between the cloyingly sweet, milky taste of these commercial drinks and the homemade stuff. Real chai is sugary, yes, but its many spices give it nuance and subtlety. It’s like a precocious teenager of dangerous sweetness surrounded by opinionated and vocal aunties. Its complexity demands that chai be had not as an accompaniment to a meal but as an experience in itself.

When: Chai is just too heavy for the morning. Treat it like alcohol: before 5PM, it’s just weird.

How: Heat milk and water in equal portions on a stovetop. For convenience, stick two or three storebought bags of chai in the pot. Add cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, and ginger. For variety, experiment with star anise or black pepper. Don’t skimp on the cardamom–it should be the prevailing spice. Strain the tea and add honey or sugar to taste.

With: Friends. The amount of preparation involved and the sweet, social nature of chai fairly demand that it be enjoyed with company.

Of course, there are variations upon variations of these teas, and nearly infinite ways of preparing them. Experiment with different mixes, spices and brewing times, and be sure to use boiling hot water for every heartwearming cup. My boss, an extremely British man, used to tell me, “Bad day? Cup of tea. Good day? Cup of tea. Personal problems? That’s a bit more difficult. Tea and a biscuit.”

Amen.