“Being and time determine each other reciprocally, but in such a manner that neither can the former—Being—be addressed as something temporal nor can the latter—time—be addressed as a being.” – Martin Heidegger

As much as we would like to serve another round of Martinis after the main course, we realize that decorum demands of us as chefs a certain gesture to the more saccharine capstone experience when hosting guests of weaker constitutions than ourselves. Dessert, in our minds, is best kept simple and quick: easily prepared and presented to diners who are, if your goal has been achieved, already as unable to take any more as any human being after 15 minutes of either of the past two Spring Weekend Saturday concerts (that’s right, BCA, we’re talking about you, if you can read it.) Honestly, what sentient and decent cook is willing to spend the time and effort required to check and recheck the recipe for some bullshit soufflé that requires chocolate you can’t even get within state boundaries? True, the best desserts do what any best cuisine does—showcase fine ingredients and fine talents—we just feel that the simplest approach is by far the best and most efficient, sparing your talents and Daseinfrom the fate of anxiously and meticulously following a system of rules and instructions you will never grasp. So here, for the first time in the storied two-year history of this column, we present something regarding what is, ultimately, a necessary appeal to the sweet tooth of your average diner.

Trader Joe’s Truffle Bars: Buy them, store them in a cabinet, and crumble over ice cream or present au naturale (thanks to our Swiss co-writer for spelling) for a simple and glorious reason for yet another glass of red.

Cheese: For some reason, nobody understands that having good taste in cheese does not equate with being able to accomplish anything. But for now we’ll keep that secret between us, and allow our understanding of $14.99/lb goudas and goats with honey and fruit to take us to the top of culinary mountain.

Fresh Fruit: Sliced mango, strawberries (if you’re feeling particularly ambitious, consider tossing with some balsamic or mint, or both), pineapple (Lord knows how to cut one though), or anything else seasonal and fresh is a half-step away from being a perfect dessert. Consider sprinkling with salt, burning in a pan with sugar and vermouth, drizzling with liqueur (per most Benny Benassi videos), or pairing with aforementioned cheese or chocolate to really make a difference.

Booze: We recognize that the pretense of the column was to move beyond this category, but an appropriate drink (matched to the season of course) can take a great meal into an entirely different and elevated category of ethereal experience. Try vermouth and green tea in the summer, champagne with berries for a celebratory occasion, good scotch for a close friend, and gin for anything else.

The point is to reawaken and refresh your diners, and not to put them to sleep, in preparation for the rest of the night. To enliven, rather than to bog down, your guests. And to ensure that the meal you slaved over for three to six hours isn’t forgotten amid too-sweet pleasures.