1.“Bad blizzard coming
Make sure you’re prepared
Talk to Dad if you have questions.”
2. “Don’t waste all your time having sex.”
3. Just a picture of your cat on your bed. Actually, she texts this all the time.
4. “Go to a party!!!!! Let’s get you in the game girl.”
5. “Are you aware of the impending snowstorm?
Are you stocked with food?”
6. “Do you have enough food??????”
7. A singular snowman emoji.
8. [no mention of snowstorm; detailed advice on group text to sister about what medicines can combine with ibuprofen]
9. Shower before you don’t have hot water or else you’ll stink around your roommates.
10. You were conceived during a blizzard.