THINGS OUR MOMS TEXTED US BEFORE JUNO

1.“Bad blizzard coming
Make sure you’re prepared
Talk to Dad if you have questions.”

2. “Don’t waste all your time having sex.”

3. Just a picture of your cat on your bed. Actually, she texts this all the time.

4. “Go to a party!!!!! Let’s get you in the game girl.”

5. “Are you aware of the impending snowstorm?
Are you stocked with food?”

6. “Do you have enough food??????”

7. A singular snowman emoji.

8. [no mention of snowstorm; detailed advice on group text to sister about what medicines can combine with ibuprofen]

9. Shower before you don’t have hot water or else you’ll stink around your roommates.

10. You were conceived during a blizzard.