post- happy hour

a fantastic fantastic passtime

Ernest Hemingway famously said: “Write drunk; edit sober.” This semester, the editors are taking Hemingway’s advice to heart—or at least half of it. We’re bringing back a Post- tradition: The Editors’ Column. Every other week, one of us will sit down with a drink and tackle some of the most pressing questions that plague us as Brown students. We’ll post our responses here. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Drunked editors column.

So I’m supposed to be writing about spring weekend, so I put on waka flacka flame to be motivational. But it’s really intense. And I keep typing more intensly to keep up. I feel like I should be in a skins montage of a party scene where that girl who wears fishnets all the time is going to OD on something. I’m going to pause for a second to find a more chill something. I just can’t handel this right now.

woah, I just went back to the youtube page to change it and the music video is so confusing! Who is this lady with a plant on her head and why is she waering so much camo!

Ok, now we’re back. I’m listening to Kelala. This is nice. Not that Waka Flocka wasn’t nice, it was just not the *vibe* I think. Damn, I sound douchy. But spring weekend is the one time that’s totally ok, right? neon tanks and glasses and those bag things you wear around your waist.

OK. spring weekend. I tried to ask a bunch of my friends if they had good stories about spring weekend (because most of mine are pretty just drinking and dancing which is most peoples most weekends. but in the sun and with better music.)

Anyway, the two most memorable were:

  1. The beginning of a relationship that’s STILL GOING ON. It’s almost their one ear aniverserary. Like, damn. Winning at spring weekend. It wasn’t even a drunken hookup– apparently they just looked at each other and knew. why don’t these things happen in my life.

  1. Watching Atonement and drinking half a handle of smirnoff instead of going to any of the concerts (this probably merits its own story but said friend didn’t seem super keen on talking more about it )

oh how nice that google drive automatically indents for me. Thanks google drive! IN other news, has anyone noticed that good drive keeps screwing up recnetly? I keep getting red scary errors and it’s forcing me to think about how the internet isn’t really reall and it’s just a bunch of 1s and 0s on a server somewhere and OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE POWER WENT OUT?! my life is on google drive. literally, what is google drive? WHERE is google drive?

but whatever, right? I’d probably be fine in the appocolypse, right? I’m really good at crafts. I took a basketmaking clas once.

OK spring weekend:  the beautifl time between 4pm and 6pm on Saturday afternoon when everyone naps. It’s like a communal thing, I think. Eeryone’s so ambitious on Friday night and then Saturday morning is probably the most acceptable time of THE YEAR to get daydrunk but then by the afternoon youre either too exhaused and need to rest up for the evening or youre just realizing that this life is not for you, or you’re totally sober but if nobody else is being productive why should you and you may as well nap because napping is a fantastic fantastic pasttime. that was a long sentence, sorry. but yeah everyone ends up napping I feel like. Or maye just the people I associate with are especially exhaustable.

those things are called fanny packs by the way I just remembered! That’s weird when you think about it though right because “fanny” is totally vulgar in Britain or something, isn’t it? but it’s so strange that it also means butt here because I feel like usually when a word gets a different meaning in a different dialiect and that new meaning is a curse word then the original word was something totally unrelated and beniegn that potentially creates really awkward social moments. Like “rubber” just meaning erasor in britain. Well, that’s not a curse word. but you know what I mean.

Anyway, naps. There are some key nap places on campus.

  1. not the main green. i got hit by a frisbee once there

  2. yes the quiet green! It’s so much greener. and has that nice natural slope.

  3. yes the upper floors of the scili. it’s sad but like if it’s winter whatcha gonna do? There are couches! And if people see you and juege you they’re way less likely to be people you actually know because EVERYONE goes to the scili. Not so if you take a nap in your major’s building and then your professor sees you and brings it up the next time in section.

  4. I just remembered this was about naps at spring weekend. don’t actually go nap in the scili during spring weekend.

  5. leung gallery is On POINT. the upper floors have curl-up-able chairs and non one gets mad as long as you don’t snore.

Ok, I’m starting to get sleepy now and don’t reall yhave anything else to say about naps.

ALSO I JUST CHECKED THE WORD COUNT AND IM EXACTLY AT IT. well, now I’m over. but whatever.