things one direction should do now

  1. Retire to Florida
  2. Make way for ducklings
  3. Find a second direction
  4. Enter an experimental medical program researching male pregnancy
  5. Announce a reunion tour. Cancel it. Enjoy the sound of broken hearts.
  6. Recall every poster they’ve ever released as health hazards
  7. Go all Miley Cyrus. WHAT’S GOOD ONE DIRECTION?
  8. Get haircuts
  9. Ghostwrite One Direction fanfiction. Act it out.
  10. Find a third direction