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real fake facebook events we’ve been invited to

  1. Become an actual potato

  2. crawl under the coffee table and never leave

  3. turn into mitochondria and become the powerhouse of the cell

  4. give ur goldfish a bath bc you’re procrastinating studying for finals

  5. Cry in your comforter burrito bc Brad didn’t text u back since you forgot to forward that chain email about the sewer girl in 6th grade

  6. PET EVERY SINGLE DOG

  7. pretend to be adele pretending to be an adele impersonator impersonating herself

  8. quit school and become a professional piece of grass

  9. depressingly ironic event in all lowercase

  10. eat flamin hot cheetos till you see god