• March 22, 2019 |

    weathering providence

    a stormy relationship with pvd

    article by , illustrated by

    We’ve all had those days.

    You know the ones.

    The ones where you look outside your window, see piles of snow, proceed to wonder why Providence weather can’t get its sh!t together, think f@#! it, and ultimately go back to bed.

    Then there are the days that really make you question it all: You look outside, the sun is shining, there’s not a cloud in the sky. Life’s looking pretty great, you think to yourself, pulling out that pair of booty shorts your mother strongly detests.

    But then you use your phone to open up the weather app and see that it’s actually 10.4 °F (that’s -12°C for those of you who are from anywhere else in the world. But I digress. This is not a treatise on Fahrenheit versus Celsiusalthough, that is an essay well worth writing.)

    Man, Providence, you think. Why you gotta do me like this?

    And, truth be told, Providence is very much like a passive-aggressive significant other.

    I realized this during freshman year while I was on the phone with my ex:

    “I don’t understand! The weather just can’t seem to make up its mind?” I had whined into the phone. “One minute I can go out in a shirt, and the next I wish I could swathe myself in, like, 12,493,021 Canada Gooses? Or Canada Geese? I don’t know. Either way. Why does it have to be so hot and cold?”

    Complete silence on the other end.

    But I wasn’t done.

    “And for f!@#’s sake, what’s with all the passive aggression? Like, you think it’s warm outside and you decide not to take your jacket, and then you go outside, and it’s freezing! Like, if you want me to move away, just say so! Be direct about it?!”

    More silence.

    “Whatever, I’m so done. I’m leaving. And all this rain? Every other day? Why do you have to cry all over me every other day, man? Deal with your issues by yourself.

    And that goddamn black ice. Like, do you have to try to trip me up all the time? Is it so difficult for you to see me moving past you? Urgh. I’m so done with Providence.”

    “Uh…” My ex was clearly uncomfortable at this point.

    After roughly three more seconds of silence, the coin dropped on me, too.

    “Whatever! Bye,” I’d said, acerbically.

    I then hung up abruptly on him (yep, I haven’t spoken to him since) and continued to order $2,093,480,928,309 worth of thermal innerwear online.

    I mean, Providence and I have come a long way since. But we still have our rough patches. Take last week’s snowstorms, for example…

    But, ultimately, I’m still grateful for what we havejust like I was for the snow day we got afterwards (Russell Carey is basically our relationship therapist). Fact is, there’s always going to be a rainbow after the rain, and a silver lining behind the clouds on the Providence skyline.

    We just have to learn to weather the storms.