September 13, 2019 | Lifestyle
your guide to orientation week
the lesser-known checklist
You’ve made it! Welcome to your new home on the hill!
Welcome to Brown! Welcome to Providence!
Welcome to…Orientation Week.
Don’t know what to expect? Neither did we. But that’s why we compiled a checklist of things that we’re 99.99 percent sure will happen. During Orientation, you:
- Will forget how to get to your dorm…even though you swear you retraced the exact steps you used to leave.
- Will glare at your parents when they try to casually ask your new peers about their SAT scores.
- Will get your parents to buy a super expensive Brown sweatshirt from the bookstore.
- Will splurge on dorm supplies from CVS that you’ll probably never use.
- Will wonder why we need two Blue States and two Baja’s on the same street.
- Will be fascinated by the Ratty and the huge variety it offers…but will still flock to the pizza and soft serve.
- Will get really tired of Ratty pizza and soft serve (Day 2).
- Will grow to hate the Ratty, the place you were once so fascinated by.
- Will be inseparable from your roommate for the entire first day.
- Will immediately forget the names of people who literally introduced themselves two seconds ago.
- Will stare awkwardly at five people during the ice cream social before you actually make conversation.
- Will casually mention TV shows you’ve watched to finally move past the regular “Where are you from?” and “What do you think you’re gonna study?” conversations.
- Will claim you’ve listened to an obscure psychedelic indie pop band from Croatia that you’ve actually never heard of.
- Will finally meet another Swiftie who only listens to pop and has been faking it all night, and become instant BFFs. (Anyone out there who listens to rock, I’m still waiting!)
- Will tell someone you “Don’t really know what I’m concentrating in, which is why I’m excited about the Open Curriculum!” (And proceed to switch your concentration at least eight times during the next four years.)
- Will consider pursuing an independent concentration in APMA-Egyptology.
- Will get lost on the way to your first readings session and show up seven minutes late.
- Will use the phrase “I would like to push back on that a little” so many times that it loses all meaning.
- Will regrettably miss the first-midnight organ recital. (Do. Not. Miss. This.)
- Will order a “spicy chicken sandwich with cheese” your first time at Jo’s (real Brunonians call it a “Spicy With”).
- Will hit up every table at the activities fair just to grab stickers.
- Will sign up for a bunch of political groups to “be more informed.”
- Will audition for an a capella group because “It’s a college thing, right?”
- Will sign up for an improv comedy group because you made someone laugh at the ice cream social.
- Will consider writing for Blognonian but then… (;
- Will sign up to write for post- instead because you’re an amazing, hilarious person and we want you!
- Will be disappointed in Brown for the first time when Courses@Brown crashes the night of registration. (If you don’t get into a class at first, show up anyway—being stubborn works wonders here!)
- Will ask the person sitting next to you in your first class if they are a first-year, too.
- Will develop strong feelings towards Blueno.
- Will buy every assigned textbook for your classes from the bookstore. (Pro Tip: Most profs will just assign a textbook and never actually need you to use them. Only buy a textbook after attending one to two lectures to see if you really need it. Also, PDFs exist!)
- Will develop a severe addiction to Blue Room muffins. (Pro Tip: Budget your points! The Blue Room is an unavoidable black hole, hahahhelpmehahha.)
- Will attempt to “get lit” to “Mr. Brightside” at a “dorm party.”
- Will feel both overwhelmed and underwhelmed as you walk past the Van Wickle Gates during convocation.
- Will realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re finally where you belong.