• October 29, 2020 |

    halloween@home

    article by , illustrated by

    Well, it’s Halloween week. Since the pandemic and subsequent social-distancing guidelines, many of us feared the worst: that Halloween would be cancelled. But fear not! You can still bring fun shenanigans to your Zoom classes and pods with these fun, low-effort costume ideas to keep you vibin’ with the spooky season.

     

    Toilet Paper Mummy – Welcome to the land of plenty of TP. After the predicament earlier this year, it feels customary to flex your abundant stash of toilet paper on your Zoom screen and, most importantly, to flex it on yourself from seven months ago (but be careful to roll it back up and store it in your closet in case of any future disasters).

     

    Blueno – Listen, I may never recover from the terrible blow that was dealt to us with the loss of Blueno, but you can join the many mourners memorializing our fallen gentle giant with this simple process: Find a blue shirt, and then sit in front of a lamp. You don’t even have to do anything, you just need to sit there. Bonus points for blue face paint. 

     

    Among Us Imposter – If you want to instill dread and confusion among your friend groups and classes, there’s nothing better than an Among Us costume. Are you an imposter? Are you a crewmate? Did you just get confused and accidentally get your household objects stuck on your head? The world may never know. If you have a hoodie, you can put it on backward and stick a piece of paper on there—who needs to see what’s going on, anyway? 

     

    Imposter (Syndrome) – This costume is especially easy to produce: you just dress like yourself and show up to class, but then halfway through class have a breakdown and log off. It’s okay kiddo, it happens to the best of us, and you are certainly one of the best, even if you don’t always think so.

     

    Bed – This costume is great, because all you have to do is lie in bed and not get up. A foolproof plan that is sure to make you feel very satisfied anytime you try it. Become one with the bed. 

     

    Christmas Elf – Only for those who are really, really, really into Christmas. At this point, if it’s cold, it’s Christmas season. Who cares about what people, calendars, or basic standards of human decency say—it’s Christmastime. Once that temperature gauge went below 65 degrees Fahrenheit, it was all over. (Or was it all just beginning..?)

     

    The Stock Market – Take a piece of paper, and draw some lines on it, as jaggedly and randomly as possible. Then just stick it on your shirt. Bam, you’re the stock market right now. Talk about things like options and signals, and point to the chart. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what’s happening, professional stocks people don’t either. 

     

    Aliens – Since the Pentagon has officially released videos of UFOs and even started a task force to investigate them, I guess it’s time to think about aliens again. Put on some sunglasses, and bam, you’re an alien. If you tape two pencils to your ears as antennae, you’ve completed the look. 

     

    Tired Student – Again, low maintenance. Just ruffle your hair so it’s really messy, and then switch on that old Zoom camera. If you’re (un?)lucky, and it’s early enough in the morning, you might not even have to ruffle your hair at all!

     

    Even if you don’t manage to get a costume together, that’s okay! These are hard times, and honestly, just being yourself is enough right now. <3