• February 11, 2021 |

    stuff for single people to do on valentine’s day

    a guide to making it your day too

    article by , , illustrated by

    If you’re among the 50.2 percent of people in the United States who are single—congratulations, you’re part of the ignored majority! People in a relationship, who constitute a minority in the United States, get an entire holiday dedicated to them. Well, in this house, we won’t stand for this lack of single representation… We believe firmly in claiming a day for us single folks. And we’d like to suggest some ways to spend your Valentine’s Day for single folks (especially during quarantine). There will be no cute brunch plans, no totes adorbs date ideas, just pure self-care right here. Because let’s be real, that’s what you deserve in this messy world.

    Baking: Ok, so will sugar and butter fill the void in your heart? Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean you won’t die trying. So bring out the baking mitts, preheat your ovens to 350°F, and get baking! Whether it’s cookies, sourdough bread, cupcakes, or even raw cookie dough because you realized you don’t have an oven, everyone deserves a sweet treat.

    Chocolate: If you’re like most of my non-baking “who the fuck knows how to cook” friends, just grab a bag of chocolate chips and munch away! As we discussed earlier, sugar curbs sadness, so fill up! This Sunday is also National Cream-Filled Chocolate Day, so go out there, buy some last-minute chocolates, and enjoy yourself. Reflect on the positive aspects of being single and in possession of a box of chocolates: feeling like Forrest Gump and, more importantly, not having to share.

    The Forbidden Nectars: Listen, sometimes we need to drown our sorrows *responsibly* in things that alleviate the Big Sad and Lonely. Cheers!

    Videogames: Whether it’s crossing the mountains of Skyrim or building up your island in Animal Crossing, there are entire worlds you can escape to when it feels like you’re trapped in your room. In these worlds, you’re the one who really matters, which is what you need to be reminded of during holidays like Valentine’s Day. So go out there, hunt some dragons, plant some crops, and have fun.

    Good Old Commiseration: In the vein of doing things with friends. Are you and your uncuffed friends a little down? Well, misery loves company. So take this time to catch up with your friends!

    Sleep: If you’re not awake, the day does not exist. Plus, if you have no plans, there’s no reason to get up anyway, and you can have a valuable day of rest during this fast and short semester [no spring break :( ].

    Writing: We all had to read primary source documents in high school and college, so why not contribute to them? Even writing down half a page about your life could make a valuable contribution to literature, or even show up on an APUSH exam. I’m personally excited to explain to my brother’s kids what a “me-me” was.

    Netflix and Fill (Your Stomach with Snacks): While everyone’s out here watching movies and shows with other people (disgusting), you get the distinct pleasure of spending time with the company of food, which is an actually pleasurable experience. So queue up your favorite show and sit down with some popcorn, because it’s you time.

    Homework: It might not seem like the most fun activity, but let me tell you, those people in relationships are gonna wish they had the free time you have. So get ahead (or more likely, catch up) on lectures, and enjoy the perks of not having to devote a significant amount of time to other people in an academically rigorous environment.

    Make Valentine’s Day Cards For Yourself: Our society constantly emphasizes that everyone should be in a relationship and implies that maybe there’s something wrong with you if you’re not. This is wrong, and we will not stand for that in this household. Make a list of things you like about yourself and turn that into your own Valentine’s Day cards, because you deserve to feel good about yourself.

    Treat Yourself: Are you unhappy that you don’t have anyone to spoil this Valentine’s Day? Well, I think you’re missing the most important person of all: YOURSELF. So grab a fancy dinner, buy that expensive bottle of champagne, and treat your one and only true ride-or-die. You deserve it!