• Charles Stewart

    the birds and the beats

    muskrats, metallica, miscellanea

    April 26, 2018
    article by , illustrated by

    “I think I’m so educated and I’m so civilized ‘Cause I’m a strict vegetarian. But with the over-population and inflation and starvation And the crazy politicians I don’t feel safe in this world no more. I don’t want to die in a nuclear war. I want to sail away to a distant shore And make […]

    defining “cushty”

    beans on toast & being british

    February 15, 2018
    article by , illustrated by

    The other day someone messaged me asking what “cushty” meant. I’d finished a sentence with the phrase “so that’s all cushty,” which means roughly the same thing as “oh bonza” or “fabby dabby,” which are fun ways of saying “good” while also reminding people that I’m British lest they expect me to develop some sort […]

    the wizard man

    mortality. magic. also, cats.

    December 4, 2017
    article by , illustrated by

    He was the wizard of a thousand kings surveying his domain. One nostril smelt it burning. Empty windows pasted thick with circus fliers ran up the high street. His left hand twitched. A Boots and a Ladbrokes. Two towers. The wizard man strode on, his chattering jewelry announcing his presence to the street’s occupants. Tonight, […]

    the fall of the amazing human lobster

    “it’s fine, it’s fine”

    November 8, 2017
    article by , illustrated by

    Art Room 004 smelled. It had two distinct funks: weed and Febreze Air Effects  (strawberry and fig), sprayed indiscriminately by Noah in the hopes of covering up the smell of weed. It was 8:15 a.m. and the air already stank of summer fruits. Sam, second only to Noah as the highest and least productive art student in […]