• David Kleinman

    the book of all my hours

    on living forever and obscure scottish novels

    February 28, 2020
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    In October 2017, I realized I might have unknowingly been holding the key to immortality my entire life. When I cracked open a new copy of my favorite novel, Vellum: The Book of All Hours, a relatively obscure 2006 work from a relatively obscure Scottish author named Hal Duncan, a bizarre feeling washed over me—almost […]

    hey, that’s my knife!

    knives out and the horror of new england fall

    February 7, 2020
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    The moment I knew that Knives Out would be my topic of conversation for weeks wasn’t the first time I heard Daniel Craig’s dulcet take on a Southern accent, or the ending twist, or even the appearance of Chris Evans’s oversized raglan sweater. It was when our heroine finds a toxicology report with the little […]

    the value of addams family values

    no plans, no problem

    November 22, 2019
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    Here’s how my Thanksgiving is supposed to go: One subset of the family will host, the others will drive over, and we’ll enjoy a nice midday meal. Here’s how I’m almost certain it will actually go: All drivers will leave the house 30-60 minutes late, causing lunch to be served one to two hours late, […]

    yelling at the screen

    my love affair with bad tv

    November 7, 2019
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    It’s 10 a.m. in New York City in the middle of August, and I’m hungover. My friend and I have planned for this: We bought pizza last night so that we could eat it cold today, plus she’s got a bottle of atrocious wine in her fridge. There’s only one thing left to do—sit down, […]

    adventure of a lifetime

    dungeons & dragons & podcasts & lost youth

    October 11, 2019
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    “It’s not all abraca-fuck-you and what have you. I have a beating heart! I’m multidimensional! I’m a fully-realized creation! FUCK!” My friends and I first played Dungeons & Dragons right after high school graduation. For those of you who haven’t seen Stranger Things, and even some of you who have, allow me to explain the […]