In October 2017, I realized I might have unknowingly been holding the key to immortality my entire life. When I cracked open a new copy of my favorite novel, Vellum: The Book of All Hours, a relatively obscure 2006 work from a relatively obscure Scottish author named Hal Duncan, a bizarre feeling washed over me—almost […]

The moment I knew that Knives Out would be my topic of conversation for weeks wasn’t the first time I heard Daniel Craig’s dulcet take on a Southern accent, or the ending twist, or even the appearance of Chris Evans’s oversized raglan sweater. It was when our heroine finds a toxicology report with the little […]

Here’s how my Thanksgiving is supposed to go: One subset of the family will host, the others will drive over, and we’ll enjoy a nice midday meal. Here’s how I’m almost certain it will actually go: All drivers will leave the house 30-60 minutes late, causing lunch to be served one to two hours late, […]

It’s 10 a.m. in New York City in the middle of August, and I’m hungover. My friend and I have planned for this: We bought pizza last night so that we could eat it cold today, plus she’s got a bottle of atrocious wine in her fridge. There’s only one thing left to do—sit down, […]

“It’s not all abraca-fuck-you and what have you. I have a beating heart! I’m multidimensional! I’m a fully-realized creation! FUCK!” My friends and I first played Dungeons & Dragons right after high school graduation. For those of you who haven’t seen Stranger Things, and even some of you who have, allow me to explain the […]