Matt Klebanoff

Emergency Rations

how i live the mac(aroni and cheese) life

Last semester, after I decided to forgo a meal plan—not to mention a daily, throaty “hi” from Gail—it didn’t take long for my romantic notions of a Ratty-free life to all but vanish from thought. You see, I had this foolish idea that I would return to my dorm every day around dinnertime to quickly…

Mexican Food War

wrapping up the burrito debate

In the fall of 2008, like all new first years at the time, I was faced with a choice: Antonio’s or Nice Slice. You couldn’t wholeheartedly enjoy both, or simply dine at one establishment without an opinion on the other. In this way, the Thayer Street pizza rivalry was not unlike the Michael Jackson vs….

Pride & Processed

nutella vs. culinary douchebaggery

As I stood hunched over an industrial cheese vat, steel wool in one hand and a hose nozzle in the other, I tried to explain to my boss why I was chuckling to myself — in Italian. At the time, I was listening to an exchange between Michael Pollan and comic Paula Poundstone on an…

Banished From Brown

coping with mental illness at America’s happiest college

Brown may be ranked among the nation’s happiest colleges, but the truth is that life here isn’t always fun, games, and a cappella. Just like any other university, Brown has its fair share of troubled students—undergrads beset with either mental or physical illness (or sometimes both), who struggle to deal with their problems while fulfilling…