Modest Proposals

sage advice from brown’s sassiest satirists

Coming to Thayer this Spring… Encore- The owners of Bravo, having conquered the LANY crowd, now set their eyes on Brown’s lucrative hipster demographic. Billing itself as the thrift store of restaurants, “Encore” will serve only leftovers from Brown dining and other Thayer eateries. Day-old Polynesian chicken wings just got so ironic. Xenophobia- Technically just…


Transfer Wears Prada

fashionista escapes to brown’s greener pastures

The past couple days of sunshine have marked the beginning of a transition from cuddling in front of the fireplace on Valentine’s Day to feeling the buzz on a beach towel on 4/20. Brown students, aware of the mood swings during this shift from winter to spring, welcomed the 50-degree weather with open arms (and…

Most Proposals

sage advice from brown’s sassiest satirists

Ask A Professional Writer Who’s Really Busy Right Now, Okay? Dear Jamie, I am a high school student and I am applying to college this year.  My schools are very competitive and I really want to stand out from other candidates.  I was wondering if you could give me some quick tips for improving my…

Just Say Yes

all the single walkers, please put your hands up

It’s only 9:30 pm and we’ve already been rejected 10 times. I turn to my partner and sigh, “It’s going to be a rough night.” Heads hung in shame and neon vests flashing, we shuffle away from the SciLi to seek more fertile pastures. The first half hour of our Safewalk shift usually starts this…

Fishing for a Fake

drink it down in brew-nonia

We probably all know at least one person at Brown who has—or has had—a fake ID. In fact, let’s be honest, many of us wouldn’t have to look much further than ourselves. Of course, underage drinking is not exactly breaking news, especially among college students. But combine Brown’s notoriously lax policies toward drinking, a practically…